Saturday, October 13, 2012

Potty Training Guilt

I'm the queen of guilt. I'm not sure if it was born in me or taught to me, but I feel guilty about so many things. Things that I probably shouldn't feel guilty about; seeing the homeless woman who walks in the mornings when I'm driving and feeling like I should be doing something for her because I have so much and she has so little is just one example of my daily fight with guilt. Sometimes I even go out of my way to help someone or something because I know that if I don't, I'll worry about it for months and even think back on it years later wondering why I didn't help more. A perfect example would be this past Monday, when I started out on my jog with my kids in the jogging stroller and found two dogs stuck together. I couldn't walk away, so I stayed for over a half hour, talking to police dispatch (apparently that's who they transfer you to when it's an after-hours animal emergency). One of the dog owners came out eventually, and that seemed to be the motivation for the dogs to get unstuck, but it was very troubling for me to leave the other dog even though I've seen him in the neighborhood before and had tried to rescue him. But he's been on the streets too long, and is too weary of humans to be rescued. *sigh* Poor puppy.

Now that you know the extent of my guilty feelings, it should come as no surprise to you that I feel guilty that Glenn, my two year old boy is almost completely potty trained and my four year old girl isn't. For those of you who don't know, Genny, my daughter has Spina Bifida. You can learn about Genny's form of Spina Bifida here. Because of her SB she has bladder and bowl function issues, which means that she doesn't potty train like a normal kid. She should be learning how to cath herself over the next year or so, but her bladder squeezes randomly, so I've been waiting for a referral to be approved for her to see OT to learn about how to control her bladder, if that's even possible for her. And I'm working on the bowl issue with a cone enema, something that isn't typically used for people unless they have a stoma, but has been found with SB kids to work well. (for SB parents, I used this youtube video which helped a lot in understanding how it works)

How many parents have children who are a little different and they feel guilty about something they can't control? How many parents worry about their child being teased in school and go to great measures to keep that from happening? Is it better to let our kids toughen up at school and in social situations to make sure they learn young how to deal with people who make them feel bad about themselves? As a parent I try to toe the line of a good parent who disciplins well yet loves more. I want my kids to be kind and caring to others, but not get walked all over. I want them to be able to take care of themselves yet know that I will move Heaven and Earth for them. I think we are all doing our best to raise the best adults we can, but boy is is hard trying to figure out what best is.

Here's hoping you know more than I do and raise your child to be the best adult he/she can be. Happy Saturday everyone.

Here are a few pics for my hubby. We miss you babe. <3

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