Potty Training Guilt

I'm the queen of guilt. I'm not sure if it was born in me or taught to me, but I feel guilty about so many things. Things that I probably shouldn't feel guilty about; seeing the homeless woman who walks in the mornings when I'm driving and feeling like I should be doing something for her because I have so much and she has so little is just one example of my daily fight with guilt. Sometimes I even go out of my way to help someone or something because I know that if I don't, I'll worry about it for months and even think back on it years later wondering why I didn't help more. A perfect example would be this past Monday, when I started out on my jog with my kids in the jogging stroller and found two dogs stuck together. I couldn't walk away, so I stayed for over a half hour, talking to police dispatch (apparently that's who they transfer you to when it's an after-hours animal emergency). One of the dog owners came out eventually, and that seemed to be the motivation for the dogs to get unstuck, but it was very troubling for me to leave the other dog even though I've seen him in the neighborhood before and had tried to rescue him. But he's been on the streets too long, and is too weary of humans to be rescued. *sigh* Poor puppy.

Now that you know the extent of my guilty feelings, it should come as no surprise to you that I feel guilty that Glenn, my two year old boy is almost completely potty trained and my four year old girl isn't. For those of you who don't know, Genny, my daughter has Spina Bifida. You can learn about Genny's form of Spina Bifida here. Because of her SB she has bladder and bowl function issues, which means that she doesn't potty train like a normal kid. She should be learning how to cath herself over the next year or so, but her bladder squeezes randomly, so I've been waiting for a referral to be approved for her to see OT to learn about how to control her bladder, if that's even possible for her. And I'm working on the bowl issue with a cone enema, something that isn't typically used for people unless they have a stoma, but has been found with SB kids to work well. (for SB parents, I used this youtube video which helped a lot in understanding how it works)

How many parents have children who are a little different and they feel guilty about something they can't control? How many parents worry about their child being teased in school and go to great measures to keep that from happening? Is it better to let our kids toughen up at school and in social situations to make sure they learn young how to deal with people who make them feel bad about themselves? As a parent I try to toe the line of a good parent who disciplins well yet loves more. I want my kids to be kind and caring to others, but not get walked all over. I want them to be able to take care of themselves yet know that I will move Heaven and Earth for them. I think we are all doing our best to raise the best adults we can, but boy is is hard trying to figure out what best is.

Here's hoping you know more than I do and raise your child to be the best adult he/she can be. Happy Saturday everyone.

Here are a few pics for my hubby. We miss you babe. <3

Tire Pressure

I went for a run this morning. Before I left I filled up the tires in the stroller (they were getting pretty low). When I started running I could feel how much easier it was to push the stroller. I no longer felt like the out of shape girl that I did in this post. I was able to run without having to stop every quarter of a mile to walk. And it dawned on me that I didn't realize that anything was wrong with the stroller when I was running these past two time with the kids and low tire pressure, I assumed it was me and my strength and endurance. This made me think of other things in life that we accept without question, letting things be harder than they need to be.

I'm notorious for letting a pile of papers sit in one spot for months, collecting dust until one day I see them and think, "Well, how long have those been there??" This goes with other things in my life too. So while I was running, I started thinking of other things in life that I'm allowing to be harder than they should be. Do you have something in your life that is harder than it should be?

Procrastination is another word for life's tire pressure. How long do I hold onto a box that needs to be sent to my hometown? How many days do I put off cleaning the bathroom until I can't put it off anymore? On the other hand, how much do I love walking into a clean room? How good does it feel to know that you went six days between cleaning bathrooms instead of eight? How nice is it to walk into the kitchen in the morning and make that morning pot of coffee without having to wash dishes first?

This year has been about letting go for me. There have been several small occurrences in my life this year that has made me want to clean house, get everything out that I don't need so I can have more space, less clutter and a happier me. It's working. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm dropping things off to Good Will at least once a month, making sure to get things out of my house and out of my life that I don't want to have to keep moving, re-organize, or see in a pile next to the wall three months after I made it.

What do you have in your life that you can let go of? Are you ready to make a change for the good?

Baby Shower and The Rest of Our Saturday

Our Saturday began with pancakes and ended with a video of Thomas reading books. We were able to dawdle in the morning, because the baby shower didn't start until noon, but I had offered to bring a side dish, so we went to Sprouts to get veggies and fruit to bring. Sprouts always offers up fun for the kids- they love to run around the spacious store and they exclaim every time they see a new food, "CUCUMBERS!! MOMMY THEY HAVE CUCUMBERS!!" Don't you just love the excitement of kids?

Genny and Glenn had a blast at the baby shower, they bypassed the food (even though we got there at twelve thirty) and played with the toys.

Megan was glowing, and Josh kept looking at her like she was a queen. But that's how they are: they are more in love today than the day they married. It makes you smile when you see them together, a couple that's going to make it in this divorce-riddled world.

After the baby shower we came home and after a bit of outside play, we started making the t-shirts I bought us for Halloween. We painted an orange pumpkin on them and now I just need to figure out what else to do to it... Maybe some google eyes and a sequin smile? We shall see...

After a dinner of PB&J (Genny's choice) the kids got a looooong bath. The day was completed with daddy reading stories via our movies on the computer, and then I watched a scary movie and ate a big bowl of ice cream before going to bed (which means I set myself up for nightmares).

Glenn and Genny eating PB&J

Thursday Playgroup

~~Today we had our Thursday playgroup. Sometimes it's just a few of us, but today we had seven moms and their littles at my house. It was wonderfully busy and Genny loved playing with two of her little girlfriends. Our craft was the ghost footprint place mats that we made a few days ago, and my kids decided that they weren't satisfied with the ones they had made, they needed to make another one, cause, well, everyone else was making one. So I let them make another one, one that may end up in a box to a relative sometime soon...

I have had a wonderful out poor of support for me since Thomas has deployed. Everyone from friends that I see twice a year, to my friends from my mom's group. I've received e-mails and fb messages asking if I need anything and it has been so reassuring to read and hear these offers of help. I'm very blessed to have a good support system, better than even the last time Thomas deployed when Glenn was four months old. Thank you to all of you, I will call on you if I need you. :)

Which is why I wanted to write today about this great group of ladies that I see weekly. The funny thing is that we don't get together outside of the group, with out our kids, but that's what makes us the friends that we are: our kids and wrangling them while trying to hold a conversation. Sharing stories about other kids who have Spina Bifida and are doing well in mainstream school (thanks Lynn), or asking questions about mom-stuff like, "How do I get my kid to stop hitting your kid every time he comes over?" (sorry Lynn...)

This group of ladies is awesome, and I'm so happy to have them in my life while Thomas is deployed.~~

These are the ghost footprint place mats that we made the other day. I laminated them with clear contact paper so the kids can use them and spill on them for the season. I'm planning on making place mats for Christmas too!

Today Glenn and I made a 'rock train'. It's pretty much just a line of rocks, but Glenn loves doing this, so it's what we did.

The puppies kept walking over the 'rock train' that Glenn and I were building, knocking them out of line. Glenn got so mad and yelled, "NO GUS!"

The Pinterest Diaries

I wrote in an earlier post that I wanted to craft more with my kids while my husband is gone. Yesterday we painted their feet and stamped them on black construction paper for a ghost picture.

Today we made another pin, mason jar tea light candle holders.

This was an easy craft because I had bought paint for my mom's group to make fall hand print trees, so I used the yellow and orange from that. We stopped by Michaels while we were out today and I bought black Halloween stickers. The kids loved painting the jars (it was soooo kid-friendly because all they had to do was paint the inside) I checked their jars before we finished and made sure all the clear spots were painted. Then we didn't even have to wait for them to dry, we just put the stickers right on the outside. I'm very happy with this craft, and I'm happy to add to my Halloween decorations at such a low cost.

Lion Costume

On the day Thomas left for Afghanistan, we got home at 3am. I put the kids in their beds and eventually fell asleep. My kids wake up at about 6am every day, so I was pretty tired. I had decided the day before that retail therapy was in order and our outing for the day was a trip to Target. Who doesn't love a trip to Target?? With it's bright displays and impulsive items, it's a favorite store of mine. I'm lucky enough to have a super Target, so I was able to get several things on my list including my almond milk and eggs.

We hadn't ben to Target since the Halloween stuff had been set up, so that was, of course pretty fun for the kids to see and play with. I found an accessories kit for a lion for $5 and decided to buy it because the kids already had a zebra one I had bought on clearance a few years ago.

It was the best purchase of the day.

Since then the kids have taken turns being lions. Just like any toy it ebbs and flows for desirability, but overall this is a great addition to our dress up corner.

Revelations

I had a revelation today. I was trying to stay busy, and feeling a bit large. Large in that I-ate-my-feelings-for-the-past-few-weeks-so-I-gained-weight large. So I decided to go for a run right after dinner. This is not an odd thing for me, except that I had never taken the kids with me on a run at that time before. I ran. I ran and felt like I was running in jello. The extra weight and pushing both kids in the stroller tired me out.

Here comes my first revelation...

~I need to work out~

I need to do this to replace eating my feelings with running my feelings. I don't plan on crying over my love who is gone. I plan on using that energy on making myself a better person for when he returns. Because don't we all want to change for the better? Isn't that what life is all about? Finding challenges and tackling them? Putting ourselves to the test and if we don't pass the first time, keep trying again until we do?

This is my first revelation. I'm sure there will be more to come.