Tuesday, June 8, 2010


Yes, I'm only five and a half weeks postpartum, so for me to be thinking about whether or not to have a third child seems pretty odd. But anyone who knows me knows that I like to plan as far ahead as possible. It just about kills me to do things last minute, and when faced with last minute things, I'm usually overwhelmed because I haven't had time to process the idea. So yes, I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons of having a third child. This, of course will not go in front of the committee (aka Thomas) until at least a year out, but I need to figure out what the pros and cons are for me and for my family, so as to bring those points up when the conversation does ensue.

Pro: I LOVE being a mom. I love the needy child who cries and wants me to comfort her (Glenn doesn't count in that scenario yet because the only thing that he cries for is food). I love the smiles, the hugs and the kisses. I love the sleeping child in my arms and the lessons I see her learning (she just handed me the wii remote and repeated "away" until I put it away). I look at Glenn and think to myself, will I ever get to hold a child this age again who is my own? I love and have always loved the idea of a big family. I see my mom's side of the family and see how with the seven children, there is always someone to be there for my grandmother if she needs them, there were always a slew of cousins to play with, and every holiday was a confusing mash of people in one house, eating, playing and loving each other.

Living far away from family is hard. I wouldn't give up meeting Thomas and starting our family together, but I wish a lot that we could have family near by. I read about my cousins who are all as close as siblings, best friends even, and I wish I had that. I have been campaigning to get family out here for as long as we've lived here, and have yet to succeed. We were able to get Thomas' sister out here for the summer last year, but she left in the fall to finish school and laughs at us when we let her know that she is still welcome. I guess California didn't give her the warm fuzzies as much as it does us.

Now back to subject at hand.

Cons: Financial. The more kids we have, the longer I'm not working. Although as soon as Genny is able to cath herself, I could potentially put the other children in day care since it wouldn't have to be a special needs day care (which costs twice as much as regular day care). More children also means less money for the family in the form of fun and experiences (sports, dance, etc). Family vacations (the extent of which will most likely always consist of going to visit our family as opposed to unvisited destinations due to the paragraph above) will cost more because the more children we have, the more plane tickets, meals, clothes, etc we will be buying. Which means that we may end up going home even less than we already do.

As you can see, we have much to discuss when the time is right. I stated earlier that I plan things far in advance, so that's where this blog comes into play. It's just something I think about when looking down at sweet Baby Glenn's face. I think to myself, are you my last baby? Not knowing if he is, I try to drink in his innocence and memorize the sounds he makes and smelling his baby smell.

Maybe I'll be like my sister, and it won't matter how many children I have, I'll always want more. If that's the case, it's justifiable to stop at two for the cons listed above. What do you think? Comment on your idea of how many Children is enough and maybe it will help us when the discussion about having another child comes up.

1 comment:

  1. *sigh* That IS the great question, "How many children should I have?" If I could be pregnant for 1 day and deliver my baby, I would have more. :) I think you'll just have to mull it over for the next 11 months or so. Sorry, not the definitive answer you were probably looking for.